The Bright Side of Life
by PhantomIceDragon
Summary: The Joker gives the other inmates at Arkham some advice: "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". Part Joker humor, part Monty Python song and dance! Rated K for one mild swear.


The Bright Side of Life

The Joker sat at a card table in the recreation room of Arkham Asylum, balancing his chair on the back two legs, staring with increasing irritation at Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow, who was sitting directly across from him. Johnny had been contemplating his move for over two minutes now, and the Joker was irritated after the first thirty seconds. They played this game every week, along with Killer Croc, Two Face, and the Penguin, and he figured that after weeks and weeks, they would understand that he, the Joker, always won, and there was no getting around that. And this week, they should know that he would win no matter what they said, because he picked the game. And further more, how much skill did one possibly need to play Go Fish? At least he didn't have to explain the rules to Croc more than twice this time. That would have really irritated him.

Getting more than a little irritated, and realizing that the sighs, taps on the table, staring at the ceiling, and rocking loudly back and forth were not getting Johnny to go any faster, Joker started making comments.

"Come on Johnny, we ain't getting any younger here!" said the Joker.

Jonathan sighed. "Joker, I grow weary of your antics, and I'm already not in the greatest of moods due to my most recent run-in with the Bat. Be patient."

The Joker sighed and continued to tap on the table. "It's not rocket science, Johnny."

"Do you not realize that all of our most recent run-ins with the Batman have left us with heated tempers? Even now, I'm sure all of us would like him dead more than ever" said the Penguin.

The Joker rolled his eyes. "You guys are drags," he said. "Get over it."

Two-Face looked at the Joker with a raised eyebrow. "Are you implying that you're not bothered by the fact that the Bat broke up your scheme in less than 3 hours this time?"

"It wasn't my fault. I didn't see him until it was too late. I was setting up the punch line."

"He was standing in the same room as you for over ten minutes before you noticed him" said Jonathan.

"Not out in the open" said the Joker.

"The room was well-lit!"

"You weren't there!"

"Now, now, children," said the Penguin, "play nice."

The Joker glared at Jonathan. "ANYWAY," said the Joker loudly, "It doesn't matter. I still have an ingenious plan to put into place when I get out of here and this time I will not be so careless. Batman will get this joke, you watch.

"I still don't understand how you can be so calm about this whole thing," said Two-Face. "If I were you, and even judging by my most recent encounter with the Bat where he put an end to my plans, I would be furious."

"Well, Harv, I have recently realized something very important. It's been helping me keep my cool more often, which saves me a lot of hours looking for new henchmen, and it's been helping me…to keep an optimistic view when the Bat catches me."

"Where did you learn this amazing new philosophy?" asked Jonathan sarcastically.

"My shrink. Go figure. He actually made some sense this week. And I took that information and made up a little song." The Joker said with a big smile. Everyone at the table rolled their eyes and grimaced. "Oh come on now," said the Joker, as he got up from his chair and went to stand behind Jonathan, "Cheer up, Johnny." He said. And then he began to sing.

_Some things in life are bad_

_They can really make you mad_

_Other things just make you swear and curse._

Johnny rolled his eyes. The Joker looked over at him, roughly put his arm around his shoulders and started to sway with every line he sang.

_When you're chewing on life's gristle_

_Don't grumble, give a whistle_

_And this'll help things turn out for the best..._

_And..._ Whistle Johnny…_always look on the bright side of life..._

Johnny decided to comply and started to whistle with the Joker

_Always look on the light side of life... _(Johnny continued whistling)

_If life seems jolly rotten_

_There's something you've forgotten_

_And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing._

As he sang, the Joker took his arm off of Jonathan's shoulders and walked around to his chair and stood on it so he had the attention of everyone in the room. He now addressed everyone.

_When you're feeling in the dumps_

_Don't be silly chumps_

_Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing._

"Everybody!"

_And...always look on the bright side of life_... "Come on!" Gradually everyone in the room begins to whistle with the Joker and some even sing the chorus with him.

_ Always look on the light side of life..._

_For life is quite absurd_

_And death's the final word_

_You must always face the curtain with a bow._

The Joker jumped off his chair and began dancing around to everyone else in the room. Some people started "oooing" to his tune and some even got up off of where they were sitting and started dancing around with him.

_Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin_

_Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow._

He started a chorus line with a small group of the men in the room and started a can-can move with them. After a minute or two, Croc joined them.

_So always look on the bright side of death_

_Just before you draw your terminal breath_

_Life's a piece of shit_

_When you look at it_

_Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true._

_You'll see it's all a show_

_Keep 'em laughing as you go_

_Just remember that the last laugh is on you._

"Johnny?" Joker called to Jonathan. Jonathan looked over at Two-Face and the Penguin. They looked at each other not knowing what to think for a moment, before all three of them got up and joined Joker's chorus line.

_And always look on the bright side of life..._

_Always look on the right side of life..._

"Come on guys, cheer up!" said the Joker.

_Always look on the bright side of life..._

_Always look on the bright side of life..._

"Worse things happen at sea, you know."

_Always look on the bright side of life..._

"I mean - what have you got to lose? You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!"

_Always look on the right side of life..._

Everyone in the recreation room continued to sing and dance for an hour. The guards were too confused to know what to do, so before long they gave in and started swaying to the music while they watched from outside the room. Everyone was so busy they didn't notice the Joker slip out of the room through a window he had been working on loosening to screen to for the past five times he was in the room. He closed it behind him and whistled to himself as he strolled down the road, away from Arkham.

_A/N: Reviews would be greatly appreciated! Constructive criticism is always helpful! Thank you!_


End file.
